A New Beginning

I painfully lived the last six years of my life in a hopeless fog, unable to find any glimpse of hope or relief. My severe depression had me convinced that I was worthless, unlovable, a burden to those around me, a pile of wasted potential and better off dead because I would never get better.…

Read more A New Beginning

Yet Again…

I am exhausted, trying my hardest after yet another near-fatal suicide attempt but cannot seem to beat the hold depression has over my vulnerable depleted self. I wake up saddened, blundered under the weight of an x-ray vest, exasperated just by the struggle of getting out of bed alone. It hurts and aches with an…

Read more Yet Again…

Rememberance of a Childhood

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will…

Read more Rememberance of a Childhood

Courage to Accept Indecision

“Sometimes, the way is not clear. Our minds get clouded, confused. We aren’t certain what our next step should be, what it will look like, what direction we are headed. This is the time to stop, ask for guidance, and rest. That is the time to let go of fear. Wait. Feel the confusion and…

Read more Courage to Accept Indecision

Thirty Days

“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better…

Read more Thirty Days

Is This Okay?

So often I am told how lucky I am. I have undivided support from my family, a beautiful home, financial security, access to the most promising resources, help and education, a host of caring friends, not to mention my gorgeous rescue cat Maggie and puppy Grace. But nevertheless I find myself sadly unfulfilled, alone and…

Read more Is This Okay?

Questionable Future

“Are you hearing me, STOP IT, how do you have any idea what I am feeling?” The future is terrifying. I am scared of living but do not want to die. The both of them, survival and death…I’m not sure which scares me more. Although riddled with internal anxiety , the snowglobe of my insides…

Read more Questionable Future